On the way to Pokhara the Lord gave me a vision – He showed
me as I prayed a picture of the dry riverbeds that are all throughout Nepal
with me walking up stream in them, but there was no water. I became thirsty and
so I started to lift up rocks in order to try and find a spring of water. Each
time I lifted up a rock the water would come bursting forth and soak me and
start to flow down and resaturate the dry riverbed. I would laugh and be filled
with joy every time I took another step and heaved a stone up in order to
release the fountains and geysers of water. After I had this vision the Lord
spoke softly to me in my heart saying, “My daughter I know this year has
drained you and has rocked you. I see that you are dry and you are still
trucking up stream to find me and to know me and I see your faithfulness, and
you are mine. Behold I am saturating you with my spirit, I have brought you
here to refresh you, I have brought you here to know the depths of my eternal
living waters.”
This past year was a lot about discovering what God does
have for me and what he is calling me to along with what He is not calling me
to. Through the ups and downs of that I feel like I was literally sucked dry of
all the spirit inside of me. There were definitely seasons of joy amidst the
pain and trial and error throughout the year, but it was definitely beyond
draining emotionally, spiritually and mentally. I have realized in this week
that I have spent in literally one of the most beautiful places in the world
that God is for me and he would go to the ends of the earth to take care of me.
God has brought me here, all the way to Nepal, for many reasons, but it blows
my mind that he is revealing to me that one of the reasons is to refresh my
spirit and to reveal the depths of his heart for me and my dreams for me. Our
Father is the Father of love and he will do all he has to do in order to
capture our hearts and I am so thankful for that. I think it has been a little
hard to realize that I am doing a lot less of the impacting and a lot more of
the receiving from God here. Every time I hear a child laugh or hear a story
about a restored victim of trafficking my heart becomes a little more full, a
little more saturated with the goodness of God and his big heart for me and for
all of his children. What’s even wilder about all God had to say to me about
what He is doing in my heart is that he also spoke it not just in my heart but
through the devotional book I am using while I am here – it’s called Streams in the Desert and its phenomenal
and I just have to share with you what it said two days after God gave me that
sweet vision and word –
“We never know where God has hidden His streams. We see a large stone
and have no idea that it covers the source of a spring. We see a rocky area and
never imagine that it is hiding a fountain. God leads me into hard and
difficult places, and it is there I realize I am where eternal streams abide.”
The affirmation that God has been providing to show me He
has me here for every reason and all His good. It is blowing me away and
exploding my heart and mind.
So with all of this as the prep for my week in Pokhara I was
definitely expectant for God to show up and move and be so present. And our God
is so faithful and He was more present than I could ask or imagine in this past
week. It was a really sweet time – we did lots of hikes, lots of boating in
order to get to opposite sides of the city, mountain bike adventures, moped
bike rides, lots of theology discussions with the president of the
organization, and lots of fellowship with my team sharing our stories and what
God is teaching us while we are here. It was incredible we also got to visit
the Dream Center land where the org is building more children’s homes and a
school for the kids in this city that is above the low standards of education
here in Nepal because the head of the org really believes that in order to
change Nepal as a country that the next generation must be given the best
opportunities to rise up as leaders in Christ first and then leaders in their
communities. We also spent lots of time at the parks with the kids from the
homes playing and laughing and celebrating their lives and freedom.
There is truly something about Pokhara that made me never
want to leave. I don’t know if its just the screaming evidence of God in every
sight I saw or if it was the adventure that lied around every nook and cranny.
The streets were a little wider here and the air a little fresher and I think
it was simply the perfect break from being in the capital city of Nepal for a
week. The same issues remained at hand – child beggars, dance bars, and
brokenness all around – but hope seemed more near here. I think also hope
seemed closer because we reached the beginning of our third week here and God
has started to reveal his authority, care, and sovereignty over the issues of
injustice happening in this country and in the lives of these people. The hope
wasn’t necessarily rising from the location we were at but from how God has
been shaping my heart to understand him more and to also just surrender to not
fully understanding him in regards to every pain and sorrow. God has been over
time reminding me of the victory we have in Christ in all things and that he
sent his only son here to redeem not just my life but all of creation back to
its intended beauty and fullness. While I was in Pokhara I also wrestled with
God a lot on the balance and concepts of his law and grace. I read through
Romans 6, 7 and 8 I don’t know how many times and really prayed for revelation
to come bursting through in my moments of stillness with Christ. It has been
tough to fully understand but I do believe that God is honoring my pursuit of
his truth and revealing piece by piece how to weigh both grace and the law and
their proper purpose in my faith.
I am so thankful that my joy lies simply in my salvation (Psalm 51:12) and that our God goes out
of his way to pursue and choose us (John
15:5-17) and he also has the heart to give us his best and pleasure and
delight that lies in his hands (Psalm 16:11). I feel like I definitely wondered
what God had for me and why did he
bring me here and what was this all for – but I know more than ever that I am
in the right place in God’s timing and it couldn’t be more satisfying. I’ve
always heard people say the best place to be is smack dab in the middle of
God’s will for you and I am so thankful he has brought me too it. I am continuing
to apply for jobs in the midst of my time here and trusting that as I had to
give up my job to come here that God will graciously and sovereignly provide
for me when I return back to the states. I do have an interview this Wednesday
at 8:00 pm your time with an organization I love, admire and have always
dreamed of working for, so if you are reading things please write it down in
your calendar, set a reminder on your iPhone, do whatever you have to do to
please pray for me at that time on Wednesday! Im thankful for the doors God is
opening and his faithfulness.
I hope and pray God is moving in your lives more intimately
than ever. He has chosen you, he loves you and he is jealous for more of you
and your life. Give it to him – I promise it will be the best decision you’ve
ever made, for our God is faithful until the very very very end. Praise Him who
is worthy of it all and sooooo much more. I love you all.
As always here are some of the scriptures I have been
reading and that God has been speaking to me through.
-Habakkuk 2:3
-Hosea 2: 14-15
-Romans 6:7
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