The word security is a loaded one. It also is one that God has put on my heart a lot lately. Earlier this year - during the spring of my senior year - it was during worship at a prayer night we had in Boone that God began to tell me that He wanted me to be willing to surrender all for him. He began to impress upon my heart that he wanted more of me and my heart and that He longed for a deeper dependence between me and him. Ever since that night I have seen the Lord begining to strip me of earthly treasures and really fix my heart and mind on things above. This word security for me also is tightly paired with the word trust. God has asked for more of my trust daily since the end of my senior year in order that I would let my security rest only in him and not other things or people. This as you can imagine has been a test of faith and has definitely been a challenge and struggle at times. I have been learning how during a transition like moving from college to an internship and leaving behind what was and moving forward to what is and what will be is the absolute perfect time for God to start stretching my trust in him and my security in him.
This internship that God graciously gave me with IJM was not my idea it was God's. He brought me every step of the way and linked me with every person I needed to be linked with in order to fall right here in this place serving him. Also at the end of my senior year God brought a wonderful guy into my life and that was not my idea either. Jonathan, who is my boyfriend now, started pursing me back in February of this year and I never saw it coming - this was God's idea too. Also I never thought that I would move back to the VA/D.C. area after graduating college, let alone back in to my house with my family. I never thought I would wear a suit to work everyday. These were all God's ideas and he brought them into being and I have been reminded of a truth that God taught me earlier this year that comes from a scripture in the Gospel of John - here Jesus is speaking to his disciples and he says:
"I tell you the truth, anyone who has FAITH in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even GREATER things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father."
-John 14:12-13
And again when God says this in the Old Testament:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
-Jeremiah 29:11-13
This summer yet again the Lord is stripping me of things that I would cling to if given to me instead of clinging to him. He is teaching me how to live at the mercies of His provision when it comes to money, energy, creativity, and comfort. These are all things that I am turning to God for more than ever and I am watching him show up in big ways. It is so amazing how my time at IJM so far has definitely been filled with work and growth professionally but one of the biggest things I have learned is that God cares about my heart above my ability to serve and he loves me and wants me to be taken care of and he doesn't just want to use me for his work - he wants to grow me in the midst of my service to him, he wants to heal me of my wounds as I remain faithful to him, he wants to provide for me as I provide for his children who cant provide for themselves.
My God is incredible and He is your God too. He tells us to believe for GREATER because the things He is calling us to do or to be apart of are not our ideas, they are his and he promises GREATER. I am holding fast to these truths as I pour myself more and more into the depths of what God has for me here in DC with IJM and what he has for me in each step I take near or far. He has plans to give me a hope and a future - I am praying that he would reveal them as I continue to walk out what he has called me to this summer. Thank you for your love support and prayers. I can't do this without you.
Blessings,
Kaity
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